A person with whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
We've all had our fair share of friends, and it is no secret that they come and go. Some friends seem to last for generations, always there, picking up right where you left off, no matter how much time has passed. Some friends we see often, talk often, some not very often at all. Some stay no matter what, loyal to your friendship. But some go. Sometimes there is a big fight, sometimes it is as simple as lives moving forward and not seeing someone as often. This surprised me after highschool, but more so after university. Friends that I felt very close to, I realized were not that close once there had to be effort put in to getting together. Sometimes maintaining a friendship is easy, and sometimes it's very difficult, arguably as hard as any romantic relationship. Sometimes something happens in your life, that changes you so much, that it truely does test your friendship, without you even wanting it to. Sometimes your child gets diagnosed with something terrible, and you realize that on top of their declining health, your friendships are declining as well.
Over the past 15 months I have experienced this first hand. My friendships have been tested. I didnt mean, or want them to, but it seems that this is what has happened. Now the results of any unanticipated test can be surprising, and this is no different. I have seen people change right in front of me. I have seen people disengage with me, take steps backwards, and I have seen friends emerge seemingly out of nowhere. Some have been faithful, some not so much.
It saddens me to think of true colours being shown in a time when we really need our friends support. I'm not trying to "call anyone out" or point the finger - but this loss has affected me a lot. I feel I have "lost" some people that I was very close to not so long ago. Where we once talked, or texted almost daily, weeks now pass with nothing. Where there was once a level of comfort, I now feel awkward and uncomfortable, as if I'm in a room full of people I don't know, instead of close friends. I feel I must also assume responsibility, it is a two way street.....but I cant ignore what my life has become. It is going to come up in conversation....and if that makes YOU uncomfortable....well, just think about how WE feel about it. It's our life, but not what we chose.
On the contrary there are some friends I have not given enough credit. They have been there for me always, and have not faltered when things have become more difficult. Friends who have supported me, encouraged me, been happy for me, and cried with me. There are friends that like clockwork will send me a BBM every Friday morning to tell me they're thinking about me and that they hope we have a good day. Friends that are excited to hear about whats happening in your life, good or bad. Friends that will always be waiting with a hug and a fresh cup of tea. Friends that are really only in your life because of the one thing that pushed other people away.
In the past year there has been in shift in my friendships. I have been fortunate to say that I feel I have gained more than I have lost. I have a new respect for my friends, and I have a new goal about what it means to me to be a good friend. Treat people how you want to be treated, in other words, be the friend you'd like to have.
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