I thought working in television I knew what it meant to "Hurry up and wait". I cant even count the number of times this has come up, something is super urgent, and the deadlines are crazy, and everyone on set is waiting for you to hurry the hell up.....so you do, you move so fast, you run instead of walking, you take the stairs instead of waiting those few minutes for the elevator, your fingers dart over the keyboard faster than you ever knew they could. You get it done. And then you wait. Your part is over. Now it's up to the rest of them. And so you wait. Hours sometimes, and inevitably, you're really just waiting and waiting to do it all over again. To get the call, to have the moment of panic, to scramble and get your part done. Again. A few years ago when I was working on a weekly live show, I had to adopt and rememeber: "It's only television. It's not like we're saving lives or anything. It's just TV."
It's so ironic that I now find myself, years later, sitting in a hospital wing remembering all of this. Hospitals are the MASTERS of "Hurry up and wait". They cant exactly help it - I get that. There's just a lot going on around here. In the past six days alone we've been seen by well over 30-50 different people, reception/nurses/doctors/surgeons/oncologists/interns/social workers/occupational therapists/physiotherapists/research coordinators.....seriously I could continue. It's crazy. They all want the same thing, and they all need each other to get it. So one by one they come around and we chat for a minute or two, or more, and we make some decisions, and then we run some tests and then we wait.....and wait, and wait, and wait. We wait so long that you get distracted because someone else has already come by to chat, and make more decisions and run more tests. Whats crazy, and scary really, is that when they want to hurry up - they are not kidding. Evie needs a CT scan, it's done and we have results in 20 minutes flat. Evie need's surgery, we're doing it NOW....(good thing she's already NPO). We appreciate this, for sure, but it's kind of scary watching these strangers really, make huge decisions about your child (her head, her life, her future) so quickly, after only knowing her for a day.....perhaps only by reading her file.
We know Evie is in good hands. Her team is remarkable, an honest to god situation of the best of the best, not only at SickKids, but Internationally reputable people. We know that even though it seems rushed to us - they do this for a living. I bet the head Surgeon has been doing this as long as I've been alive. It makes sense to them, a whole lot more than it does to us anyway. I'm glad they get it. As an Associate Producer in TV and an Electrician, it is way beyond our realm of understanding. We're relying on them, literally with our daugters life. We need them to do this, we need them to be able to do this.
Right now we are almost five hours into an estimated six hour surgery. We are doing prettygood I think. No tears, just a little apprehension and anxiousness. We did as we were told. We ate, we walked around outside. We did the ICU tour, as this is where Evie will be for a day or two. We checked in. We're waiting on the surgical floor, watching the screen from afar as it displays;
La. E., (1J5) IN OR
We're very cautiously optimistic. We are terrified of this surgery, but are hoping that it will make the difference. We kind of need it to. I miss Evie. She just hasnt been the same lately. I need her back. And I'm hoping that all this waiting, if we're patient, and if we respect what is being done, and what she is going through, if we just put our faith in the right people, have the love of all of our people, wait patiently and follow the rules....that this time, it will work.
And so we wait...and I think we're getting better at it.
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